A Different Kind of Chaos
by MadBrilliant1880
Summary: At the end of A New Man, Buffy lets Ethan go. When they meet again, four years later, can Rayne help save Buffy from her depression?
1. A New Man?

A Different Kind of Chaos

"We'll take him to our holding facility in Nevada until we determine his status. I'm sure he'll be rehabilitated in no time," Riley said pompously.

Buffy looked at Giles, then at the chaos mage who was being held by three commandos, and then back at Riley. "I can't let you do that," she said quietly.

"Buffy," Giles began sternly, "he's…"

"I know what he is," the Slayer said, quickly interrupting her former Watcher. "But he's human, too."

Riley gaped at her. "But he's dangerous," he explained slowly, as if he were speaking to a small child. "Maggie's expecting us to bring him in. With his magic, he could hurt a lot of people."

"So could Willow," Buffy countered. "Giles can do magic. Are you going to try to lock him up too? What about me? I'm more dangerous than anyone else in this room. Plan on experimenting on me, too?"

The commando visibly faltered, an almost guilty look stealing over his face as if he had thought of these things before. Or perhaps they had been mentioned to him.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "You know, Agent Finn, I don't think I can be with someone that could do that to a human. Take your solider boys and leave. I'll take care of Ethan Rayne."

Riley looked at her for a few moments and then dropped his gaze to the floor. There was no point in fighting her about this. If they tried to take him by force, she would easily stop them. And there was no point in arguing about their relationship. He knew it was over. It wasn't as though she had really been his to begin with. She wasn't in love with him, as he was with her. He gave the blonde beauty one more sad glance before ordering his men to release Rayne and trudging out.

Buffy turned to her Watcher and grimaced. The rage that was screaming off the man in waves was almost choking.

"How dare you protect him?" Giles growled at her.

"It's not our job to pass judgment on humans. If we just let them take him, who knows what they would have done to him? You heard some of the stuff they did to Spike. Could you really sentence Ethan to torture like that? Or anyone else?" She squinted at him. "Do you really think we have that right?"

Giles held on to his anger for a few more seconds, glancing between his Slayer and the thin man still crouched on the floor where the commandos had dropped him. His shoulders slumped in defeat. Without looking back, he stepped over the fallen chaos mage and strode out the door.

Buffy followed him to the threshold of the hotel room and watched as he disappeared into the night. Not a moment later, she felt a familiar presence. She rolled her eyes. "Come on out, Spike. I know you're there."

The peroxided vampire strolled up to the doorway, eyes still fixed on where Giles had vanished.

"Can you make sure nothing happens to him on his way home?" Buffy asked him softly.

Spike looked at the Slayer in shock for a split second before recovering. Then he smirked. "Guess I owe the bloke that much. I did crash his bloody car, after all."

Buffy stared incredulously at his smug expression for a minute and was very surprised when he sobered.

"You did the right thing, Slayer," he said seriously. "I wouldn't wish what they did to me on my worst enemy." He cocked his head to the side for a second, considering. "Well, maybe Angelus," he amended. "And you."

Buffy gave him a small smile and watched as he too sauntered off into the dark. Shutting the door, she pinned the chaos mage with her gaze.

She folded her arms across her chest. "Have a seat, Rayne," she hissed, motioning to the edge of the bed.

Eyeing her warily, he sat down. He was pretty sure by her impassioned speech that she wasn't going to kill him, but he knew the girl was resourceful and killing wasn't the only thing she could do to him. As he was contemplating a thousand ways to bleed, the Slayer shocked him by sitting down next to him and putting her head in her hands.

"You realize," she said, not looking up, "that had I killed him, all bets would be off and, human or not, you'd be dead now, right?"

Ethan nodded, knowing that even though she wasn't looking at him, somehow the Slayer would know.

Buffy leaned over him and grabbed the phone from its place on the chipped faux wood nightstand. She quickly dialed a number and drummed her fingers on her thigh as she waited for an answer. She wondered momentarily if she was doing the right thing. Ethan had done a lot of crappy things to them over the years, to put it mildly, but what would the military have done to him? Spike hadn't said much about what the Initiative had done to him but, judging from the haunted look in his eyes and some of the incisions and bruises he had been sporting when he had shown up at Giles's place, it had been horrific. As Xander had once said: Generally speaking, when scary things get scared: not good.

"Hello?" The groggy voice of said friend came softly over the line.

"Hey, Xand," Buffy said in a noticeably weary voice. "I need you to meet me at the Sunnydale Motor Inn. Bring your car."

There was a long silence on the line and, for a moment, the blonde thought he had fallen back asleep. Then, to her surprise, Xander regained his voice.

"Huh?"

"It's kind of a weird story, but I'll tell you on the way, 'kay?" she asked. She just wasn't ready to explain, especially over the phone, why she planned to let Rayne go. But, she always tried to trust her instincts and her instincts were telling her that, for good or evil, Ethan still had a part to play, and handing him over to the Initiative would have been wrong.

Xander sighed. "Just give me about fifteen to get over there." He didn't wait for her to say goodbye before he hung up.

Buffy put the phone back on the nightstand and gave the chaos mage a long blank stare.

He looked back at the blonde girl next to him. Ethan wondered for a moment how he had never realized how beautiful she was until then. Perhaps it was because she was now playing the part of the angel of mercy. She could have allowed for him to be carted off and more than likely tortured, but she had stood up to her Watcher and a man Rayne could only guess had been her boyfriend, to save him. Well, not exactly save him in particular but still…she had. Just because he was human.

"So this motel is just a front, right?" Buffy asked the mage. "Like, you really have money?"

Ethan stared at her before realizing she was waiting for an answer. "Of course I have money, you silly girl," he said softly. He had been trying for pompous and arrogant, but just couldn't quite find the attitude.

Buffy gave him another long look and decided to ask him something she had been wondering since he had first shown up in Sunnydale with his ridiculous costume scheme. "Why do you do it?"

He looked up at her, trying to delve back into his charismatic demeanor, but before he could answer, she was talking again.

"I mean, you have so much power and you could do so many things. Do you have any idea how much a Slayer could benefit from a Watcher like you if you weren't…you know…evil? You could help people Ethan! Sure, it's not worshipping chaos, but it could still be…I mean…you never know what the people you save are going to do. One could be a serial killer or a terrorist. Is that chaotic enough?"

Ethan began to snicker. As he watched the Slayer look at him with a wary expression, his snicker evolved into a full-blown laugh. "Are you truly trying to talk me onto your side after everything I've done to you?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, that would be pointless, wouldn't it?" She cocked her head to the side as she looked at him. "I just…you could be so much more. You could be a god man," she sighed. Then the Slayer stood up and she was all business. "Get your crap. We're leaving," she said coldly.

Ethan lowered his head as he finished throwing things into his suitcase. He was perplexed. Now, the chaos worshipper had always thought himself a good judge of reading people, but the beautiful young blonde woman before him confused and astounded him. By rights, she should have let the commandos take him for what he'd done. He had almost gotten her to kill her Watcher, for God's sake. But here she was, telling him he could be a good man and letting him go. Well, presumably.

As he zipped up his suitcase, Rayne heard a car pull up outside. Buffy jerked her head to the door, indicating that he should go first. He didn't blame her. Not that he was going to cast anything at her or stab her in the back with his non-existent knife, but he was proud of her, in a strange way, for not trusting him.

Buffy followed along behind Ethan down to the car, clutching the fake silver letter opener in her hands like a knife. She opened the back passenger side door and roughly shoved the man inside.

"Uh, Buffy?" Xander's voice could be heard floating out from the car. "Is there some reason Ethan Rayne is in my back seat?" he asked in disbelief.

"Just a sec, Xand," the Slayer growled as she grabbed Rayne's suitcase and circled around to the trunk. She knocked on it and her brunette friend popped it open. As Buffy threw the baggage in, she scanned the area. Across the street was a nondescript black sport utility vehicle. She slammed the trunk and slid into the back seat, keeping a watchful eye on Ethan. She turned to Xander. "Can you outrun that?" Buffy asked, pointing to the offending automobile.

Xander stared for a moment. "Isn't that an Initiative car?"

"Yeah," Buffy said softly.

"And why are we trying to outrun them? Which is so not going to happen, by the way," Xander said as he started the car.

"Head for L.A," Buffy instructed. "We're running because they wanted to take Ethan to a military facility and experiment on him," she said as she watched from the rear view window as the SUV pulled out behind them and began following them down the road.

"And this would be a bad thing why?" Xander asked as he eyed the chaos mage in the rear view mirror.

"Xander!" Buffy admonished. "Whether or not he's a pain in the ass, he's human. In case they try to stop us, is there a weapon in here?"

The boy nodded distractedly. "Under the seat in front of you. Broadsword. And a crossbow under my seat." He paused for a moment, as if considering what his friend had told him. "Wait, so we're saving him? But he's a bad guy, Buff. We're not supposed to save the evil guys."

As they pulled out of town, the military vehicle turned back, as if they were only escorting them to the borders of Sunnydale.

Buffy sighed in relief. "We're saving him because he's human," she explained slowly.

"So?"

Buffy turned in her seat to face Xander and the startlingly silent Ethan Rayne. "Where do we draw the line? They don't want him because he's the Big Bad. They want him because he can use magic. And what if they wanted Willow? Or Tara? Or Giles? Or what about Anya? She used to be a demon, after all. Or what about me? Is it alright to save ourselves and damn everyone else?"

Xander sputtered for a moment and Ethan grinned behind his hand. The girl had a point and the poor boy was floundering to come up with a counter argument. The chaos mage also knew that is he opened his mouth to gloat, which was oh so tempting, he would be thoroughly buggered.

"I get it, Buffy, but seriously…Ethan Rayne?! Couldn't you have picked someone else to get all moral about?" Xander snickered, glancing back at his blonde friend.

"Well, I'm supposed to, you know, protect humans, and he's human," the Slayer said with a wry smirk.

"Barely," Xander chuckled.

Ethan grimaced. "I'll have yo know that apart from my opportunistic and chaos loving tendencies, I'm not a bad man," he told them regally.

"Rayne, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good," Buffy quipped as she regarded the Englishman. "You do know where we're going, don't you?"

"The airport, I imagine," the chaos mage replied. "I assume I'm on the first flight out of the country."

Buffy nodded. "You assume right. Hope you can pay in cash 'cause you gotta know that they're gonna try to trace you and take you into custody if they can. Any flight that has a layover is a bad idea."

"Do you really think they would go to such an effort for an old sorcerer like me?" Rayne asked with genuine concern. He had figured that once he was on the plane and out of California, he would be safe, and the whole leaving-the-country thing was just a precaution.

The Slayer sighed as she scrubbed a hand over her face. "I don't know, Ethan. You screwed up coming here, but I think you know that. I can't even imagine what they were going to do to 'rehabilitate' you."

"Yeah," Xander agreed, nodding. "I mean, I've got no clue what they did to Spike, but I know it was bad. He doesn't exactly scare easy."

Ethan took a moment to absorb this, fully understanding that it was probable that the Slayer had more than likely saved him from months, maybe even years of torture and unknown experimentation. Him, an enemy.

Other than the low whine of the radio, the rest of the drive to Los Angeles airport was silent. Each was lost in their own thoughts of morality and the insanity of doing the right thing.

They escorted Ethan into the building, keeping a close eye on the mage. There were many dark SUVs in the parking lot and some had people in them. Through pointed looks, the two teens agreed that it was probable the Initiative was there and waiting for them to leave Rayne's side. Buffy kept a careful watch on the crowd while Xander watched Ethan as he paid the exorbitant price for a same day ticket.

They waited patiently, albeit warily, for his flight to be called. When it was, they walked the mage to the terminal, trying their best to look like two teenager wishing their uncle goodbye, or something similar.

When they got to the gate, Buffy grabbed his arm and spun him around to face her. Conscious of the people around her, and keeping up pretenses; Buffy pulled the shocked man into a hug. Well, it seemed like a hug. In truth, the Slayer was squeezing his shoulder hard enough it felt like it would crack.

"I want you to remember this moment," she said softly into his ear. "How it could have gone, but didn't." She pulled away and stood with her friend as they watched the mage board the plane.

"That was a line from Pitch Black, wasn't it?" Xander asked as they waited for the plane to take off.

Buffy shrugged and grinned at the dark haired boy. "It seemed appropriate."


	2. Recounting the tale

Maybe some of you noticed, but I forgot to put my disclaimer in the first chapter, so let me tell you…I own nothing. I barely own the computer I type this on…

So, I rewatched the fourth season a few weeks ago and I noticed something I hadn't given a lot of thought before. They turn Ethan over to the Military Police without batting an eyelash, but a few episodes later, when Oz is taken, they storm the Initiative to get him back. Now, to me, being a hero or a champion, or even just a good guy, doesn't mean just saving your friends. It means saving, or at least trying to save everyone, regardless of whether or not they had been a pain in your ass at some point. I thought the Scoobies were very hypocritical on this point. Did they even ever wonder what had happened to him? I did…

Oh, and thank you to the one person who reviewed. Much obliged.

BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS

Rupert Giles groaned as he stared at his digital clock. Three thirty in the morning. He blinked furiously, trying to remember why he was awakened at this ungodly hour. A sharp rapping came from the direction of his front door and Giles rolled his eyes. How could he, in his blearily groggy state, have forgotten the unknown person banging on the door of his London flat? He pulled himself out of bed, grabbing his glasses and his robe, and slipping them on as he wearily navigated through his seven month old apartment. He threw open the door, ready to scowl, glare, and cluck his tongue at whomever dared wake him, barring apocalypse.

"Hello, Ripper!" A disgustingly cheery and obviously drunk voice pierced through the cloud of sleepiness and Giles found himself staring at the lanky figure of Ethan Rayne.

The new Head of the Watcher's Council blinked uncomprehendingly at the man, his former friend, that he hadn't seen in four years. He stood dumbfounded as the mage brushed by him, a brown paper sack in his hand, and settled comfortably on the couch.

Giles shut his door and turned to stare at the interloper to his quiet and peaceful night of sleep. "What are you doing here, Ethan?" he asked coldly.

Ethan feigned shock as he pulled a large bottle of Scotch from his bag. "Is that any way to treat and old mate, Ripper? Bloke comes all the way here and you don't even give him a polite hello? And after all this time?"

Giles looked at the man incredulously. "I think you had better tell me what the bloody hell you're doing here."

"Woman trouble, mate," Rayne said, taking a swig from his now open bottle of liquor. "Come and sit and let me commiserate. I fear I've gone and done something decidedly and monumentally stupid," Ethan sighed, gesturing for Giles to take a seat in the chair across from him.

Warily, Giles sat, eyeing the man in front of him with barely disguised distrust and trepidation. "You do remember the last time we drank together?" he said as Ethan held the bottle of Scotch out to him. "I have no desire to wake up as a demon again." He sat silently for a few moments, observing the dejected tilt of Ethan's head and the way his hands shook as he raised his chosen poison. "You said you'd done something stupid?" he prompted, wondering if whatever he had done was going to require calling a team of Slayers.

The other man blinked for a second, as if he had forgotten why he had come in the first place, before he began to speak. "I went to that bar…you remember the one, Ripper? The one we used to go to? The Eagle and the something or other? She was sitting at the bar." Ethan smiled a little as he remembered. "She looked so lost and confused. I sat down next to her and she looked at me. Just looked. She didn't seem surprised. In fact, I'm not even sure he expression changed the whole night. I asked what she was doing there and she said she was forgetting. That's when I noticed the shot glasses lined up in front of her like pretty maids all in a row."

Ethan took a long pull from his bottle. "She downed a few more and judging by the amount, she must have been bloody tanked. I asked what she was forgetting and she actually told me. Everything. The poor girl." He shook his head remembering how blank and distant she was when she had recounted the last four years. And he told Giles so. He talked about the emotionless way she discussed her resurrection and the deaths of her mother, Tara, Anya, and Spike. And how, when the bartender cut her off, he had driven her home and even walked her up the three floors to her flat.

"She didn't look at me, but she did say 'thank you' before shutting the door. And I went home and not an hour passed that I didn't think of her. I went out the very next night. I bought a red rose and I had intended to leave it at her door."

Giles looked at him incredulously. Ethan Rayne buying a flower for a girl? Of course, at this point, the Watcher was more than aware who this yet unnamed young woman was, but he was stubbornly refusing to let his mind acknowledge it. As Xander would have told him, he was happily vacationing by the river in Egypt, and had no intention of leaving any time soon.

"When I got there," Ethan was saying, "she was out on her balcony. Just staring out into nothing. She looked so…forlorn. It took her a moment, but she noticed me. I walked over to look up at her and, after checking to make sure no one was watching, I used magic to float the rose up. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes."

He told Giles how he had repeated the gesture every night, every time her smile getting just a little bit closer to being real. He explained that he continued to do that for three months and she was waiting for him each night at the same time. And then one night, she wasn't there.

He had waited ten minutes and when she still hadn't appeared, he was worried. Was this like what her Watcher felt when he was expecting her and she was late after fighting demons? Had something happened to her? Not once in three months had she not been there. But he was sure it wasn't a fatherly concern he was feeling. Was she seeing someone? Was she up there with a man and just let him give her flowers anyway? And why did that thought cause him so much pain?

"I knew it was drastic, but…" Ethan trailed off and shrugged. "I can't explain it really. I kept thinking about what she had told me about how I should use my powers for good and how I could be a good man if I chose and I just had to know she was alright. So I used magic to open a dimensional doorway into her living room."

Giles gaped at him. "Are you telling me you magically broke into her flat? And she didn't pound you into oblivion?"

Ethan smirked at his fellow Englishman. "She was asleep on her couch. All my worries were for naught." He remembered with a small inner smile how every available surface was littered with vases brimming with red roses in various stages of bloom and decay. She had kept them all. Somewhere in his traitorous mind, Rayne had assumed she had thrown them away, not interested in tokens from her former enemy. But there they all were, displayed for anyone that set foot in her apartment to see. Which begged the question, had anyone been there? Did she have to explain them to her many friends? To her Watcher, perhaps? Somehow, Ethan didn't think so. In all the times he had been there, although he had never been inside, he had seen no evidence of visitors. And there was the undeniable fact that she was home, every night without fail, waiting for him at eleven.

He had wandered into the kitchen and in the cupboard found a tall glass. He had filled it with water and placed the rose inside, setting it on the coffee table where she would be sure to see it when she awoke. Then, he opened another magical doorway and was gone.

He told Giles that when he came back the next night, she was absent once more. Again applying his amazing door-making spell, he found himself faced with one very awake Slayer.

"I was wondering how you did that," she had said with a smile, handing him a glass of red wine.

They had talked long into the night. About how she had loved Spike and was heartbroken when he died and she had never gotten the chance to tell him until it was too late. About how her friends and Watcher, unable to deal with her grief over someone they considered a monster, even after he had died to save them all, had abandoned her, hardly even speaking to her unless it was necessary. How even slaying had become empty. And how, for the first time in months, she found herself looking forward to the night. Because of him.

Giles found himself enraptured by Rayne's tale. He had known that Buffy mourned the fallen vampire, but because he hadn't wanted to accept her love of him, or the fact that she had been right about him being a good man in the end, he had turned a blind eye to her pain. But the Watcher had no idea she had been shunned by all of her friends. Yes, they had all been busy rebuilding the Council, recruiting potential Watchers, and training the mini Slayers, but he had assumed that they still hung out and went drinking and dancing when they were all in town the way they used to in Sunnydale.

"She insisted that I use the door if I came over after that. I tried to tell her that that was mundane, but she wouldn't hear of it. So, the next night, I rang the doorbell like a normal man. Vastly overrated, don't you feel?" Ethan asked with a smirk.

"We continued to meet. She mentioned once over home made milkshakes, rum punch for me, and raspberry for her, that she hadn't been on a real date in years. The next night, I took her dancing." Ethan's eyes visibly softened thinking of the green satin dress she had worn, her long hair loose about her shoulders and how she had felt in his arms as he had led her around the dance floor.

"It was the first time I had seen her smile since we had been spending time together. At least, the first time it was real. And when I walked her to her door, she kissed me," he said, almost quietly. He eyed Giles as if he expected the man to rise from his seat and beat the hell out of him, as if he was a schoolboy asking for permission to date his daughter. But the other man only pulled the glasses from his face, furiously polishing them with a cloth from the pocket of his robe.

"Are you saying that you're…dating…my Slayer?" Giles asked incredulously.

"Strange, isn't it? You and I were mates, then enemies, and now I'm bedding the woman you think of as a daughter. Define irony," Ethan said, sounding far too cheerful. Then he sobered, scrubbing a hand over his face. "You know what's happened, don't you, Ripper?"

"Oh dear Lord," the Watcher breathed. "You've fallen in love with her, haven't you? You're in love with Buffy."

"Guilty. Funny how that works, isn't it?" Rayne mused. "There's just something about her. It doesn't matter if you're a high school boy, a military man, a soulless vampire, or an aged sorcerer." Ethan stood and began pacing back and forth in front of the couch. "It's not something I intended."

Giles began to chuckle. "She really does have a way of attracting a much older man with a dark past who may or may not be evil, doesn't she?"

"That's part of the problem," Ethan said darkly.

"Other than the obvious part where you are in no way good enough for her and more than likely going to hurt her, what is the issue again?" Giles inquired sarcastically.

Rayne shoot him a withering look. "I'm fifty years old, Ripper. She's what? Twenty-two? And the Slayer, as well. How am I supposed to keep up with that? But…" He looked vaguely embarrassed before turning away. "I do love her, even if I don't deserve to."

He downed the rest of his bottle of Scotch and tossed the empty container to the dumbstruck Watcher. "Tomorrow, or rather tonight, as it were, I'm making her dinner at her flat and I plan to tell her. A sad attempt, I'm well aware. What beautiful young woman would want to spend her life with an old man like me when she could have anyone?"

Giles just stared at him. He never thought he would live to see the day that Ethan Rayne fell in love, and more so, never thought it would be his Slayer. But the man was right. He was over twice her age and had at best, what? Twenty years? And then she would be alone again, provided, of course, that she shared his feelings. And she was far older than her years let on. She had to be, faced with the things she had seen and done. The girl had lost so much in her life, and if Ethan was what she wanted, what made her truly happy, Giles knew he couldn't take that from her. Not now. Not after the debacle with Spike and Robin Wood. He barely registered that his old friend was speaking once again.

"She's having lunch tomorrow with the witch. Willow, I believe her name is. Buffy says she needs to reconnect with her since her friends spend so little time here. I think she's setting herself up for a fall, more so if she tells anyone that she's seeing me." Ethan chuckled self depreciatingly. "Somehow, I'm sure I will rate worse on their scale than either of the vampires, a fact that Buffy fears. Perhaps because she has spent so long seeking your approval, knowing that she might be shut out if you don't agree with her."

Giles visibly flinched, remembering the time when they had disagreed with Buffy's plan and turned their backs on her out of her own house, taking away her leadership position after she had earned it with blood, tears, her own death. "Is that why you're here then?" he asked softly. "So, if I was to get angry, I would take it out on you rather than her?"

Ethan fiddled with a picture of the infamous Scoobies he had found on Ripper's mantle, avoiding answering his old friends question. It was so out of character for him to care about someone other than himself, and even more to put himself on the line for that someone, but Buffy brought it out in him. It seemed that people forgot that although she was a powerful warrior, his lover was also a young woman that had real hopes and fears and only wanted her friends to accept her life decisions. They had held sway for most of the time she had known them and that was the very reason she had hidden her relationship with Spike. Ethan didn't want that to happen again. He didn't want to be her dirty little secret. Not only was he far too proud, heh heh, understatement, his mind snickered, but he didn't want Buffy to go through that again, a true testament to the fact that he liked her as much, if not more than he liked himself.

"Well, Ripper," Ethan said as he strode toward the door, "I think I've taken enough of your time. Wish me luck, old man." And, just like that, he was out the door.

Giles slowly cleaned his glasses, thinking about everything he had heard. It was obvious, knowing Ethan, that he was nervous about telling her what he felt it was time to say, but in true Rayne fashion, he had skirted the problem and then ignored it. Opportunistic to the last. But he loved her, that much apparent. Glancing at the clock, five in the morning, he made a split second decision and picked up the phone.


	3. Dinner Plans and Spells

I still don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of its characters. But I should. Lord knows I would treat them better than Joss.

Thank you to those of you that reviewed. As always, I am humbled and overwhelmed by your comments, your compliments, and your wit. I was surprised at how many people had read this story thus far. It didn't seem like a pair anyone would be interested in, but since Ethan was one of the best charismatic bad guys, I always had a bit of a soft spot for him. Therefore, he needs love. Review. Do it for Ethan.

BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS BTVS

It had been going exceptionally well, in his always humble opinion.

He had come over that evening with groceries, amused by the fact that Buffy thought the reality of him cooking was cute, even though he had done it for her many times before. She sat on a stool in the kitchen, sipping wine and watching him like it was the only way to see.

He made chicken fettuccine because it was the first thing he had ever cooked for her. A tad romantic, but as he couldn't remember the last time he had told a woman that he was in love with her, he figured a tiny bit of cheesy romanticism wouldn't go amiss. They had eaten by candlelight, drank wine, and there was instrumental music playing in the background. Buffy was wearing the green dress she had worn on her first date and he had worn a pair of charcoal gray dress pants and a black silk button down shirt. They had both dressed up without discussing it. It was almost as if Buffy knew that the night was in some way special. All in all, a perfect moment.

Ethan grabbed his lover's hand across the table. "There's something I wish to tell you, my dear," he began. "I…"

An impatient knocking at the door interrupted him. Buffy smiled apologetically before rising to answer,

The Slayer couldn't think of anyone that would be at her door. The only visitor she ever had, at least lately, was sitting at her dining room table. She was more than a little shocked to find Willow and Giles in the hallway. Her Wiccan friend held an ornate silver chalice and before the blonde could ask what they were doing there, or even greet them, they had pushed past her, looking in doorways, obviously searching for the man in the dining room, for no reason Buffy could possibly imagine. At least, no happy reason.

Ethan stood as Ripper and the witch burst into the room, effectively killing any romance, no matter how well choreographed. Without warning, Willow threw the contents of the chalice at Rayne's face.

8 hours earlier

"So, Ethan Rayne, huh? That's…different," Willow said mildly as she buttered her roll.

Buffy smiled serenely at her redheaded friend as she set down her fork. "Not something I was looking for, but maybe everything I needed," she said cryptically. "With everything that happens in our lives, love just feels like an invitation for more pain, right? I thought I would never feel anything again after Spike died, but Ethan…" She paused, carefully considering her words. "Something about the way he came every night without fail, without me giving anything in return, made me realize that even though we've all lost so much, we can still heal. Maybe not completely, but love…that's the reason we save the world, isn't it? And I've learned in my life that it can come from unexpected places if we keep our minds and hearts open for it."

"Have you forgotten about, say, the time he tried to sacrifice you to a demon?" Willow asked with a smirk.

"Yep," Buffy answered, popping the 'p.' "Just like I've forgotten how you flayed a man alive and tried to end the world," she said with mock cheerfulness.

"Touché," Willow muttered coldly. "But really, Buffy! Ethan Rayne? Is this some residual Spike thing where you need an old villainous Englishman to get off?"

Buffy stared at her openmouthed. After a moment, she regained her voice. "You know, I've supported you in all your relationships. Even Kennedy, even though I think she might be an evil demon. Or possibly a Hell beast. Jury's still out on that one. But, until now, I've never said anything about it because it's none of my business. Just like the fact that I'm in love with Ethan Rayne is none of yours," Buffy spat as she grabbed her purse and stormed out of the restaurant, completely missing the genuine smile on the face of her friend.

Present time

Ethan screamed as the lavender colored liquid hit his face. As it ran down his skin in thin rivulets, searing pain following in its wake. "What the bloody hell have you done to me?" he gasped as he pushed his way past the smug Watcher, the grinning witch, and the stunned and confused love of his life.

Willow grabbed his arm as he tried to get by her.

"Herb, rock, water, tear, and salt,

Hear me as my song is sung.

Age him to match his heart's desire.

It is youth to which he aspires.

Dear god Aengus hear my plea.

As I will it, so mote it be," she chanted softly, speaking fast and low, so most of the words were lost to those listening in the room.

Rayne stared at her a moment with wide eyes before shoving her away and running for the bathroom, with every hope of washing the sizzling liquid from his face before it could work whatever magic the witch intended.

Buffy whirled about to face her friends as she heard the door slam. "What did you do to him?" she snarled. She paced back and forth in front of her guilty friends. "It's not enough that I'm happy for the first time in…I can't even remember how long? No! Who cares about what I want? So…what? Did you turn him into a demon or something? Something petty and revenge-y?" she ranted.

"Buffy," Giles cried out, grabbing her by the forearms and forcing her to stop. "You're going to have to trust us."

"Trust you?" she spit. "How can you even say that to me? And you," the Slayer growled at Willow. "After everything I said today. After I told you that I'm in love with him…how could you guys do this to me? Haven't I lost enough yet? You seriously need to get over your control issues! I've lost enough. I don't need your meddling!"

Giles and Willow both smiled sympathetically at the distraught young woman and physically turned her toward the sound of the slowly opening bathroom door.

Buffy blinked in surprise and alarm as she watched the figure emerge.

2 hours earlier

Willow juggled the paper sacks in her arms as she made her way into the kitchen. "Geez, you'd think that with vervain growing on the side of the road in England, it would be a whole lot cheaper to buy. I would have been better off driving outside of the city and picking it myself. These prices were highway robbery. Get it? Highway robbery? Why are we in a hurry again?" the witch babbled as she unloaded her bags onto the counter.

"Willow!" Giles exclaimed, interrupting her inane prattling. "Are you certain that's what she said? She's really in love with him?"

"That's right," the redhead confirmed. "Took a lot for her to say it, too. I had to insult him before she'd admit it. She made allusions to it before that, but nothing concrete. She seemed really shocked when I first brought it up though. I could see it in her eyes. She was all with the 'How did you know?'"

Giles stared at her. "And did you tell her, Willow?"

The witch rolled her eyes as she filled a pot with water and set it on the stove. "Yeah. I said, 'Well, your former Watcher called at five o'clock this morning and decided I should use my lunch with you as a fact finding mission to see whether or not you're in love with a chaos mage. Any thoughts?'" She gave him a withering look. "Of course I didn't tell her! If she knew we were going to do this because of what she said, she'd kill us! She really didn't want to talk about it anyway."

"Well, I can't imagine why," Giles said, rolling his eyes at the girl's naivety while he began throwing herbs into the pot and stirring. "It's not as if she has any reason to suspect that we might not be supportive of her relationship choices. After all, we were all paragons of accommodation when she was with Angel, and Spike for that matter. And she's never been encouraging to us when we've had relationships. Me with Jenny, Xander with Cordelia and Anya, or you with Oz and Tara," he intoned sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Willow sullenly griped. "So, what exactly is this spell going to do? I've never even worked with half of these ingredients."

The Watcher stared into the bubbling concoction. "It might just give Buffy what she deserves."

Present time

The Slayer stared at the man that walked out from the bathroom. His handsome unlined face matched her expression of shock. Gone were the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, the creases in his forehead, the laugh lines around his mouth, and the tiny bits of gray in his hair. He stretched out a long fingered hand to his lover and she quickly grabbed it, checking for herself that he was indeed real. She drug the pads of her fingertips over the sharp planes of his face, the obscene wideness of his mouth, and the softness of his tousled hair.

"Why?" Buffy whispered. "Do you think I cared about how old he was?" she asked her friends as she stared into Ethan's dark eyes. "It didn't matter to me."

"Are you saying that you don't like me like this?" Ethan pouted, speaking for the first time since his transformation.

Buffy looked him over critically. His voice was the same, his eyes were the same, softening and shining every time he looked in her direction…only when he looked in her direction. She glanced from his lanky frame, the same as always under his clothes, to his nimble hands, now lacking the lines and scars that had been there only minutes ago. "It's not that I don't like this, because…well…yum! But I didn't need this to care about you or love you. I already did."

Willow stepped forward nervously. "We just wanted to show you that we support you and want you to be happy no matter what because you deserve it. And because we love you," she stammered. "And the whole Spike replacement thing…that was just me trying to figure out your feelings. I wasn't serious." She smiled in apology, hoping Buffy wouldn't hold it against her that she had harassed her friend earlier that day to suss out her real feelings toward the former chaos worshipper. And to be honest, Willow approved. There was not going to be a horrible talk one day about vampires and demons with him. He didn't work for a government organization that was going create creepy experiments that would get out of control. He wasn't half a demon hell god. And there was the whole part where he was alive and his age of fifty was a far cry from the two hundred and fifty of Angel or the one hundred and twenty of Spike. But, of course, he wasn't exactly half a century old anymore. Sure, he had been evil at one point, but who among them hadn't?

Ethan Rayne hadn't even heard the witch speak. His attention had been caught and held by the blonde woman in front of him. He snagged her arm, pulling her tight against his body in a hug. She loved him! He felt almost giddy at the revelation. He caught Ripper's eye over the Slayer's head.

"You and I were friends once, Ethan," Giles began. "And we were for long time. Apart from your degenerate and chaotic attempts to reinstate yourself into my life, I know you're not a bad man. And you deserve to be happy, as does Buffy. Willow…and myself…thought it would be best if you were closer in age so you had more time to accomplish that."

Willow grinned at them. "So, we've cut your age in half. Congratulations! For you, fifty is the new twenty five!" she exclaimed, winking. "And I think it goes without saying that if you hurt her, I have a shovel and I doubt anyone would miss you! A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend." She grabbed Giles' arm and led him to the door. "Have fun, you two! See you around, Ethan!"

They heard the door open and Willow's whispered, "I so want to be the one that tells Xander about this!" before it slammed and the rest was silence.

The Slayer raised an eyebrow at her newly youthened lover. "Was this something you needed?" she asked softly. "I mean, not that the prospect of having an extra twenty five years with you isn't wonderful…" her eyes widened ad said. As she realized what she had said. "Sorry," she muttered. "I didn't mean to be emotionally slutty there. Just forget I said anything."

Ethan smirked as he watched his lover turn a fetching shade of red. "Well, I'm afraid I look forward to having the opportunity to spend the next twenty five years with you."

Buffy looked at the mage in shock. They had never discussed their feelings, except of course, when she blurted them out, which she seemed prone to doing in the duress of the night. They had never talked about the future, or if they even had one. The Slayer would have even settled for what they had…the late night visits, the cooking, the ridiculous stories of their past, the surprisingly amazing sex…if that was all he was willing to give.

Rayne took in her awed expression and remembered that he hadn't gotten to tell her that tiny tidbit of information he had been agonizing over. And here it was again. The perfect moment…kinda.

"Don't you see, you silly girl? I'm in love with you." He grimaced. A less than perfect delivery.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Be still my heart," she deadpanned. "How can I resist you when you're just so romantic?"

"It is a curse, isn't it?" Ethan smirked proudly.

"You know," Buffy said, a mischievous gleam in her eye, a hand on her hip and a finger on her chin, "I got used to the other version and I gotta say…I liked it. This is like a bait and switch." She bit her lip and looked up at him coquettishly from under her lashes. "Maybe I should try out the merchandise."

Ethan raised an eyebrow at her as his amorous Slayer drug him off towards the bedroom. "Must you cheapen the moment?"

"Hell yeah."

A/N You'll notice the god Aengus was referenced in my spell. For those of you who don't know, Aengus was in Irish mythology and thought to be a god of love, youth, and poetic inspiration.


End file.
